Looking After Each Other After the Loss of a Baby

Warning, this post contains details of baby loss that some might find upsetting.​

Sharing with others how you feel after the loss of a baby is really difficult but talking about your experience with your friends and wider community (including the people you work with) when you’re ready is sure to help ease the burden of grief.

There are many companies that offer you a safe and supportive place where the death of a baby can be acknowledged, understood and to help lessen the isolation that many people feel following this devastating experience.

Here are some tips from various charities and organisations about how communities can support those who have gone through the loss of a baby…

• Understand the cultural and family traditions important to the person who is grieving and accommodate these as much as you can.
• Encourage them to let others know what will be most helpful and what they would like in the way of support from others.
• Never assume that, just because the bereaved parent may not be mentioning what’s happened, they are ‘over it’.
• Take care of practical chores like cleaning, shopping, or meal prep for the parents if they’d like you to, this will give them more time to relax and heal emotionally.
• Be aware of the significance of the anniversary of the loss, the baby’s birthday, and times like Mother’s or Father’s Day for the bereaved parent, as they’re likely to feel especially vulnerable around these times.
• Even if you mean well, saying things like “You’ll have another baby” can undermine their grief. They might not be ready for encouraging or positive comments about their future.
• Encourage the parents to seek professional help if it seems like they are struggling, and reassure them that you’ll always be there to provide support.

Baby Loss Resources

For some, going back to work may be the last thing on their mind after the loss of a baby, whereas others see it as a welcome return to routine. When it’s time for you to get back to work, these organisations can help guide the way…

• Tommy’s: Going back to work after a neonatal death, miscarriage or stillbirth.
• Sands: Returning to work after the death of your baby.
• The Miscarriage Association: Miscarriage and the workplace.
• Cradle: Workplace support for employees and employers